McGwire & The Beast
Posted by Dan Tocchini on January 12th, 2010 filed in Confessions Of A Fanatic, Conversations That Transform1 Comment »
“Journalists are animal-keepers who provide something for the public to talk about. In ancient days people were cast to the wild animals. Now the public devours the people – those taste- fully prepared by the journalists.”
Soren Kierkegaard
All of us are victimized at one time or another in our lives. Victimization occurs when something unplanned or unforeseen happens to you. Being a victim is when you put the responsibility of your choices on what happened to you. So, it might sound like this, “Your honor, I killed that person because they abused me. I had no other choice.”
So, when Mark McGwire says that he wanted to admit the truth before Congress five years ago but was told by council there were too many dangers in doing so. He said that being hurt made him desperate to find a way to get healthy. He is definitely being a victim, which starts the table of entitlements in motion. It is a symbiotic potluck. Some bring the sympathy and others the shame.
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2010/writers/joe_posnanski/01/12/posnanski.mcgwire/
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wpdyn/content/video/2010/01/12/VI2010011201575.html
Most revealing though is the dynamic of the crowd. Like a beast following its keeper it can now talk (gossip) about Mr. McGwire after cajoling him to come clean with valiant assurances that it would be best for him and his family. Yes, the beast and its keepers have what they need, something meaningless to talk about. And why? Maybe so we can be distracted from our own sense of anxiety and despair about life. Now that is news!!! One of the Privileged has fallen.Don’t you feel better?
In The Wake of Climategate
Posted by Dan Tocchini on December 19th, 2009 filed in Conversations That TransformComment now »
Ferns won’t grow in a desert no matter how much you water them. Why? because the environmental conditions make it impossible to grow. The environment determines what can and won’t grow in it.
So, what environment is it that empowers climatologist Phil Jones at the University of East Anglia notable for maintaining the time series of the instrumental temperature record to tell his staff to delete emails to suppress data about climate change?
Jones; has been accused by skeptics of man-made climate change of manipulating data to support his research. In particular, many have pointed to a leaked e-mail in which Jones writes in the tone of a child predator caught by Chris Hansen on Dateline NBC assuring us that he had used a “trick” to “hide the decline” in a chart detailing recent global temperatures. Jones has denied manipulating evidence and insisted his comment had been misunderstood, explaining that he’d used the word trick “as in a clever thing to do.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJLhQoxenB8
Isn’t a trick a manipulation? If it was harmless, then why destroy email evidence? Why resign his position?
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/12/01/climategate-phil-jones-uk_n_375670.html
Is what we are witnessing a climate of Truth, Integrity and Honor? A climate that would produce trustworthy scientific findings we could base our future on? Is it a legacy we want to leave our children? Is it an environment you want President Obama and Barbara Boxer chair of the environmental committee to rely on as they negotiate the future of our country in the global community? And is Al Gore aware of this politically polluted statistical environment?
If you viewed the first link to Date Line NBC you can witness how child predators pose as wise counsel, loving companions, gentle, friendly caring people who have come to steal the innocence of a child for their own selfish perverted purposes using inviting lies to lure their prey. You will see them feign confusion and employ multiple strategies to minimize, distract and obfuscate attention to the heinous nature of their crime.
Child predator, Political / Economic Fraud are two different species of plants that deploy defense mechanisms common to both species while they both depend on the same climate to grow.
As a citizen how can we change the environment we are individually to have something of a completely different nature grow?
The Kingdom Of Me - Foundations for Infidelity
Posted by Dan Tocchini on December 15th, 2009 filed in Conversations That Transform, Marriage1 Comment »
“Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.”
Oscar Wilde
What is a kingdom? As defined as “The rule or supreme administration of an individual over an undivided territory.” American Dictionary Of The English Language.
The kingdom of me therefore is the idea that “I” have the rule or supreme administration of all I see. The perspective necessarily produces a sense of entitlement. A sense that one deserves whatever one desires. In this way the kingdom of me can be described as consumerism. One may have and consume whatever one sees.
The result? I believe the most pronounced symptom of consumerism is infidelity in marriage. It is the cancer eating at the family unit and society in general.
Tiger Woods is not only the king of golf but the king of dalliance.
www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-power-prime/200912/sports-tiger-woods-the-price-infidelity
Tiger is a king among kings every day we hear of other consumer marriage debacles. Most recently, Mrs. Pickering is divorcing Chip Pickering, a former Republican Congressman, now a lobbyist. She alleges that Chip Pickering and Creekmore Byrd had an affair while Pickering was in Congress and living at the C Street House. http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0709/25067.html
Mark Sanford, 49, governor of South Carolina, held a news conference and announced that he had been unfaithful to his wife. He had been missing for several days and told his staff that he was going hiking on the Appalachian Trail. However, a newspaper report confronted him in Atlanta getting off a plan arriving from Buenos Aires, Argentina. His public confession came just before the newspaper broke the story of his mistress in Argentina. His wife filed for divorce 4 days ago. http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/12/us/12sanford.html
Getting over oneself is not the most comfortable thing to do, but not getting over oneself seems to be much more difficult in the long run.
Tiger Not Out of the Woods
Posted by Dan Tocchini on December 9th, 2009 filed in Conversations That Transform, Marriage3 Comments »
When I first heard of Tiger’s troubles I just ignored the stories. I mean, so what? Tiger Woods got into a wreck, the rest of us are trying to prevent our houses from being foreclosed on or prevent our cars from being repossessed. But the turn of events seem to be a welcomed distraction for people.
Perhaps it really isn’t about Tiger Woods as much as it is about human nature. How many times have you found yourself lying and with each lie your troubles increase. Reading the progression of Tiger’s debacle reminds me of one of those fairy tales told to pass wisdom on to the next generation.
Pinocchio’s nose grows with a lie, while Tiger Wood’s woes grow with his.
First it was rumors of affairs
Rumors about terrible injuries caused by the wreck came to be the result of his wife Elin Nordegren Woods frustrated attack on her husband due to his infidelities. Tiger Woods, the epitome of focus was so distracted by the attack that he ran his car right into a fire hydrant and crashed into a neighbor’s tree. And, today two weeks later the transformation from rumor to fact is complete with one reporter calling it “Mistressgate.”
http://www.indianexpress.com/news/Now–go-online—help-tiger-dodge-his-angry-wife–/552319/
The more our hero attempts to cover up the truth the greater his exposure. The more he resists the more his condition persists. My grandfather used to say, “the knots come through the comb.”
What causes somebody to pick up a golf club and beat their spouse? That is a pretty big knot! Maybe lying has a cumulative affect that is much greater than our nose growing.
My sense is that unless Tiger comes clean he won’t be out of the Woods for sometime and we will have plenty to distract us from our own knots.
Beyond Answers – Transformance
Posted by Dan Tocchini on May 29th, 2009 filed in Conversations That TransformComment now »
“Creation is a better means of self-expression than possession; it is through creating, not possessing, that life is revealed.”
Vida D. Scudder
Transformation is what occurs when people alter the way the world appears to them by making specific decisions to tap into the power of interpretation. So, why is it that producing transformations in how teams, organizations and families work together is so elusive despite well intentioned, very smart people? I believe the number one challenge is that our culture is entrained to listen for simple answers, sound bites, steps, tips and techniques to very complex challenges. We want answers to questions that demand more than what can be achieved through a sound byte or even an audio book.
Our current financial crisis is a perfect example. We want an answer and we want it now. We pass stimulus packages that don’t get read until after they become law and then wonder why things just don’t transform, no matter who we find to blame or how long or hard we keep our fingers crossed. We are steeped in the expectation the if we do a class, listen to a tape, read a book we will then be able to put it down and because we have been exposed to some interesting intellectual content turn around and implement it into our lives as if we had mastered it.
Allow me to exaggerate the point to make it as clear as I can. Imagine a group of first year brain surgeons learning about how the nervous system impacts the functioning of the body’s organs. And then they ask, “how can we start using this knowledge with our patients tomorrow?”
Any discipline requires rigor in practice to become second nature or “get it in our body.” Especially things like neurosurgery and transforming teams, family or organizations. whether it is transforming how you treat your spouse or what it takes to have your sales team generate breakthrough levels of revenue.
The work of transforming the way we live our lives is about accomplishing levels of performance in your life and business that, when considered by others appear to be impossible! I call this transformance! Transformance is a level passionate disciplined expression that transcends mere competence; it is mastery or a place of free expression marked by a distinct level of focus and self-abandonment which produces unprecedented impact, in other words it seemed impossible until the master accomplishes it.
If you have ever watched a Grand Master at Chess play 50 games at once you know what I am saying. Their ability to see the board and identify the winning moves along the way seems impossible or even miraculous, especially when the demonstration is over and he or she has won all 50 games. During the process a Master enjoys a sense of prowess that transcends competent expression.
When a master shows up, people’s stop and pay attention because they recognize something unprecedented could occur! Tiger Woods, Michael Jordon and Bobby Fisher have all done what appears to be impossible and yet they are not surprised by the transformance! They do not come to the event to find the “answer” to breaking a record, for them it is self-expression! How often do we get out of bed fully intending to express ourselves in unprecedented ways? Do we have anybody or anything that means enough to us to live this way?
Idolatry, Wall Street & Ozymandias
Posted by Dan Tocchini on September 18th, 2008 filed in Confessions Of A Fanatic, Conversations That Transform4 Comments »
Yesterday’s trouble on Wall Street reminded me of Shelly’s famous poem Ozymandias.
I met a traveller from an antique landWho said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert … Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed:
And on the pedestal these words appear:
“My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works ye mighty and despair!”
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.– Percy Bysshe Shelley
Sarah Palin, The Sky Is Falling! The Sky Is Falling!
Posted by Dan Tocchini on September 9th, 2008 filed in Confessions Of A Fanatic, The Lighter Side9 Comments »
What is all the drama about Sarah Palin? I have never seen anything quite like it. The irony of it all. We have three candidates, Barak Obama, John McCain and Joe Biden who are all part of the 500 or so people who have collectively managed this country into the situation we find ourselves in today and yet each of them is touting change. Isn’t that a bit ironic?
Then along comes Sarah Palin. A small time politician from Alaska of all places. Ironically, a state that has the same meger number of delgates as Delaware, where Mr. Biden is the incumbent Senior Senator. A woman who has a very limited career in politics and some family issues that Lindsay Lohan and Puff Daddy have some moral opinions about, can you imagine that? Of all people. Now that is change as well as irony.
So why did John McCain choose her? I think she has already accomplished her job. She has drawn more attention and already caused more change in the Republican party and in the Presidential Campaign as well as in the focus of the press than any single candidate involved. Today I couldn’t believe how many magazines had her face on their front cover, from Time to US I counted at least four major publications. If people didn’t know who she was during the convention they do now, that is for sure.
The Dems now tell us that the sky is falling, that she is not experienced enough, lacks the character and judgment to be Vice President and is somebody who would surely be over their head if elected. After all, “her daughter is pregnant out of wedlock,” “she obviously chooses her career over her children” and “her lack of experience!” This coming from the party that brought us Ted Kennedy and Chapaquitic, Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky, and now Barak Obama whose greatest accomplishment is that he possesses the most liberal voting record in congress. Not that the Republicans are any better, Richard Nixon and Watergate, Regan’s Iran Contra Sacandal and George W’s spending like a druken sailor.
My point is that if change is what we are looking for, we are getting it. This woman is obviously not part of the establishment because they really didn’t know anything about her when she burst upon the scene. And for that reason I like her. She cetainly has ruffled some feathers in her her home state of Alaska and she appears to be continuing to do the same in this election process. At the very least she has changed a boring, stogy process into a very interesting journey. I can’t wait for the debates just to see what surprises will emerge and I bet I am not the only one! So another change we can chalk up to her and John McCain is that more people will probably watch the debates this year than ever before! And she is only the candidate for Vice President. Remember in 2000 how excited you were to see the “historic debates” between Joe Lieberman and Dick Chaney and then again in 2004 with Dick Chaney and John Edwards? More irony!
Honestly, I doubt that anything will change significantly because of the entrenched special and corporate interest that seem to run this country. I know that sounds cynical, but in my opinion it will take some catastrophic event for true change to come about. However, when I see the old guard get worked up like they are now, I do feel the possibility that somebody could get elected that isn’t as entrenched in the good ole boy network to actually take advantage of a possibility for change should a catastrophic event occurred while they were on watch. I would love to be wrong about that, it just seems that history plays out.
W. H. Auden put it this way: “We would rather be ruined than changed; we would rather die in our dread than climb the cross of the moment and let our illusions die.”
The Heart of the Godless
Posted by Dan Tocchini on August 29th, 2008 filed in Apprenticing, Confessions Of A Fanatic, Conversations That Transform7 Comments »
A friend of mine googled my name and in his search he found a poem which was written by Dan Tocchini. When I read the poem, I really connected it with times of despair in my own life. I was deeply impacted by its content, yet I didn’t remember writing it. I thought this must be another Dan Tocchini. So, I forwarded the poem to my son (Dan Tocchini IV) and asked him if he knew anything about it. I informed him that it had won an online poetry contest and our name was on it.
He wrote back and confirmed he had written it in 2002 as an assignment for one of his classes and somebody entered it in an online contest.
The Heart of the Godless
Heaven is upon me and I am not ready. Wading in my inadequacies, I fondle with sin. I consort with lust and am comforted only by violence. My body aches in laziness. I am dripping with imperfection. Rooted in shallowness and wrought with lies, I am pathetic. The most subtle force will topple me over. I stand for nothing. Regret holds me hostage. My facade is fit, right and sane. But, I have no control. I despise my reflection. I am clothed in shame. Worse, I am lost and alone. I offer my mind as a playground for the wicked And, my body as their tool But even they refuse to lie with me. My silence shall become my eternal inheritance.
More, Better or Different isn’t Transformation
Posted by Dan Tocchini on August 26th, 2008 filed in Conversations That Transform, Marriage7 Comments »
Have you ever said, “I am going to be more loving,” or “I am going to make sure it is different next time,” or “It is getting better?” These are signs of rearranging the deck furniture on the Titanic. Culturally we view change as something that involves getting more of something, better at something or having something different. It is such “common sense” that my questioning it may even sound ridiculous.
But ask yourself, what is the primary focus when we use these terms? We are focused on the past, especially the part of the past that doesn’t work. So then, what is it that is determining our aim? The very thing we say we don’t want. We unwittingly make it the standard of change in our lives instead of just choosing the “new” thing we are committed to and declaring that and then gathering the evidence.
For instance, Jesus wasn’t an improvement over Cesar, he wasn’t a little more, or better or different than what people were used to, he was completely new and unprecedented. Further more Paul doesn’t say, Jesus makes you more happy, a better man or woman or even a different person. Paul says: “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away ; behold , all things are become new.”
The standard is the unprecedented future not the historical past. How much of your life and conversation are anchored into the more, better, different of what has already been?
What if there is “something new under the sun,” but the only way to access it is to give up being more, better or different?
Perspective!
Posted by Dan Tocchini on July 23rd, 2008 filed in The Lighter Side1 Comment »
An elderly man in North Carolina had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up really nice, along with some picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn’t been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. When he came closer, he realized it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end to shield themselves. One of the women shouted to him, ‘We’re not coming out until you leave!’
The old man frowned and replied, ‘I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.’ Holding the bucket up he said, ‘I’m here to feed the alligator.’