The Heart of the Godless

Despair by HamsAljofoon

A friend of mine googled my name and in his search he found a poem which was written by Dan Tocchini.  When I read the poem, I really connected it with times of despair in my own life. I was deeply impacted by its content, yet I didn’t remember writing it. I thought this must be another Dan Tocchini. So, I forwarded the poem to my son (Dan Tocchini IV) and asked him if he knew anything about it. I informed him that it had won an online poetry contest and our name was on it.

He wrote back and confirmed he had written it in 2002 as an assignment for one of his classes and somebody entered it in an online contest.

The Heart of the Godless

Heaven is upon me and I am not ready.
Wading in my inadequacies, I fondle with sin.
I consort with lust and am comforted only by violence.
My body aches in laziness.
I am dripping with imperfection.
Rooted in shallowness and wrought with lies, I am pathetic.
The most subtle force will topple me over.
I stand for nothing.
Regret holds me hostage.
My facade is fit, right and sane.
But, I have no control.
I despise my reflection.
I am clothed in shame.
Worse,
I am lost and alone.
I offer my mind as a playground for the wicked
And, my body as their tool
But even they refuse to lie with me.
My silence shall become my eternal inheritance.